said, " Did you hear that? He said he! We have a boy!"
It's ironic, because you just can't 'plan' a birth. Unless you schedule a c section. But my mom was delivering naturally, and wanted to do so without drugs, so there's no way to 'plan' that.
The baby just comes when it comes. But she did 'plan' it, and it happened. Everything about my birth went according to my mom's 'plan', right up until the very end.
She decided the best thing for everyone would be for me to come on Friday, November 28th. The day after Thanksgiving, so my dad would be off from work plus have the next two days off. According to the "plan," my mom and dad would get up, and with my sister Jaffe, they'd take the dogs on a long hike. Here's a picture of that hike.
Apparently my mom started contractions on the hike. ( Note: this is the same hike my mom did when she was in labor with Jaffe.) Then they drove home and had some lunch and my mom swept the courtyard and made soup from the Thankgiving turkey bones. She continued to have contractions and thought she was definitely in labor (just like she planned!) so the best thing to do would be to go to Ikea to do a bit of shopping. After instructing daddy to pack his hospital bag, she swept the kitchen and living room floor, generally tided up a bit up and told dad to call his parents to warn them that she started labor. Then they drove to Ikea in Burbank. Upon arrival the contractions were getting more intense and being Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year, Ikea was teeming with customers and the parking lot was very busy. So, my parents turned around and drove home. Mom called Paula to come look after Jaffe - mom had decided earlier and told dad that her labor with me would be way faster than her labor with Jaffe. She labored for 36 hours with Jaffe and with me, " It'll be 6 hours," she claimed. It's now about 4pm and the labor has really started. They arrive home, Paula arrives to watch Jaffe. Mom goes downstairs and gets in a hot bath and begins her early labor. They watch Steve Martin in The Jerk, a movie she hadn't seen in a long time. It's funny and silly. About 8:30pm mom put Jaffe to bed and then got dressed and continued to labor in her bedroom. She moved into the second phase of labor and the contractions began to come every 2 minutes and last about 45 seconds. It was getting more intense. She said, "I think we should move upstairs, one step closer to the car." Dad said, "Um, I think we should go to the hospital now." Mom didn't wanna go to the hospital too early. A big part of the plan was to do most of the labor at home. But when they moved upstairs, she agreed they should go to the hospital. Good call dad! They got in the car and drove to Cedars. Mom didn't wanna use a wheelchair, but they made her get in one anyway. They wheeled her up to the maternity ward and asked her why she was there. "I'm in labor." How many weeks are you? "39." Okay let's get you to a room. Great. Dad arrived after having parked the car and mom was getting undressed, "If I'm only 3 centimeters dilated, I'll be pissed." They laughed. The nurse checked mom's cervix, she was 8 centimeters dilated. Alright! That's the plan, man, that's the plan! "Let's get you to the birthing room right away, page the doctor!!" In less than an hour mom was fully dilated to 10 centimeters, calm, breathing well, feeling strong, ready to push the baby out in 10 minutes, maybe less, "Let's do this!" she exclaimed, and then suddenly things changed. And that's when the 'plan' took a hard right turn and drove all the proverbial cliff. See, a week ago, when mom was at the doctor, my head was down and in the right position for birthing but now I was breach. My little bum in the birth canal. This is not so good. Mom is ready for hard labor with no epidural and I am upside down. This is definitely not part of the 'plan.' Pushing became intense and the pain suddenly dialed way up to "screaming mode." Off we go to the OR. And an emergency c section. And there was my bum, to which Dr. Goldberg responded, "Nice little bum." At least when I was "lifted out" of my mom's uterus my head was perfectly round; not all squished from going through the birth canal.
I'm 6 pounds 1 ounce. I'm 19 inches long.
Within 6 days I'll have gained 12 ounces and grown 2 inches.
That's right suckers, I grow fast. As my mom says, "Let's do this! "
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